A Divine Birth For Jane

I created this small space on the blogosphere to inspire, enlighten, encourage, commune and raise consciousness. Today, I'd love to encourage someone with this special story of courage, hope, and victory that has brought joy to the Makinwas. The truth about a dark place is that it won't overwhelm you if you keep your light burning, and Jane Makinwa held on to her light even in the darkest of nights until the morning came.  The beauty in sharing a story that makes us vulnerable is that we seize to give power to what holds us back, and in doing so, we plant a seed that yields a harvest for many more miracles for ourselves and for others.  Read her beautiful story below with an open heart and let it fill you with light.

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"My name is Jane Makinwa and this is my testimony about God's faithfulness to us. Even if I tried, I couldn't tell it all in a day but will try to summarize as best as I can. We got married end of 2013 and we knew how many children we wanted and had agreed to enjoy each other first till we were ready. In 2015, we felt ready and I got pregnant immediately and the joy of having that precious life growing inside me was like no other. We were so excited and planned to share the news with family as soon as we had our first major prenatal appointment/ultrasound which was weeks away. I had some cramps before the appointment date and a bit of bleeding but didn't think much of it since it stopped. Then, I started to feel the urge to at least have a peek at the little one I was carrying inside me so we visited a clinic where they could attend to us and have an ultrasound done same day. We found out the fetus had died in my womb two weeks earlier and had started rotting away inside me. The scans also showed I had two large fibroids so the doctors advised immediate evacuation of the fetus and surgery to get the fibroids out before trying to concieve again. It was such an unexpected and devastating news for us. It hit me so hard, I felt like the rugs were pulled from underneath my feet. I couldn't think straight. Through the whole quagmire of emotions, I however made up my mind that I wasn't going to undergo any surgery or be cut which at the time seemed stupid seeing that I could get very good care if I chose to do it. So my husband and I prayed and believed God would heal me of the fibroids. We were living in Las Vegas at the time but had to move temporarily back to Los Angeles for medicals, because the insurance I had was for California alone. Evacuation was done but I was already infected so bad I had to be hospitalized for seven days. I was pumped with antibiotics, pain medications powerful enough that some made me hallucinate and have vivid dreams and eventually had blood transfusion because I was still bleeding profusely. The pain was unbearable, it felt like a saw was being drawn back and forth across my lower abdomen continuously, and I would scream all through the night. The doctors had the challenge of managing my blood pressure which was spiking out of control and it seemed like a stroke was imminent. I was also made to sleep on an ice blanket that was connected to electricity to help regulate my body temperature because it was so high the doctors needed to bring it down to avoid me having seizures. Imagine trying to taking a nap in a walk-in freezer with no clothes on, it was that uncomfortable/unbearable I couldn't sleep. I would catch some relief from the sharp pains during the day, but it would start again every night. I couldn't even talk much or pray but I had so many questions for God and felt like he had abandoned me. About the fourth day at the hospital, my husband who had said every kind of prayer he could for days and had become short of words, stumbled upon a simple song titled "Praise You" by Terry Macalmon and would play it continuously. As the melody streamed from our phones, some kind of peace enveloped me and I slept for the first time in days. He continued to play that song every night till I was discharged, and each time we would feel God's presence fill the room. He came with hope and trust was built up in our hearts. So we left the hospital after 7days knowing God was still with us, and trusted him to heal me of the fibroids because I didn't want to have any reason to be back on the hospital bed again. I needed to return to the doctor for examination after a couple of weeks, to know if I was fit for the surgery ( blood count, etc). 2016 For our follow up appointment, we decided to see another doctor different from the first who insisted on the surgery and firmly said I would never carry to full term unless it's done. This doctor had my medical records, carried out tests and we were told that the fibroids had shrunk. The doctor was surprised based on the records from just a few weeks before and this gave us so much hope in God knowing that I could concieve again without fear and have him restore the one we lost. I was further asked to come in for an HSG test (as final check up, just to be sure the infection didn't affect my tubes) only to be told that my fallopian tubes were blocked and that I would need to undergo surgery or IVF. My legs immediately became weak.

I asked God, "how strong do you think I am that you would allow all this to happen to me at once?" I'd married as a virgin and assumed things would just go well naturally as planned without any issue, so it was just too much to bear. I told myself I was done with it all. No more doctor visits, no surgery or IVF! I was about to tear the HSG result but thought to keep it, in case God decided to do a miracle, but I was done! I was angry at God but thank God He wasn't angry with me. So, we went back to Las Vegas. I couldn't understand what God wanted to achieve with it all. He had just healed me of fibroids and I knew he could do all things so why would he just choose to hurt me? Was all I went through those 7days not enough or he just wanted me to go through more? And for what purpose? I just couldn't understand. I started questioning God's existence and wondered if the whole christianity thing was just a sham even though deep within my heart I knew it wasnt. I even started doubting scriptures I knew by heart and thought "maybe it was even a fluke that the fibroids shrank". I stopped praying, reading my Bible and of course, no church for me. I said I'll believe God truly exists if/when I got pregnant again. I went on without acknowledging him and as the months passed it turned to bitterness towards him. I felt like all the years I'd spent serving him was just a waste. The devil started reminding me of modeling contracts with six figures that I could have signed if I'd just done "the needful". A time I was to travel abroad as a National director for an international pageant. I'd processed our visas (mine and the contestant's) but when we got to the office of the airline that had earlier agreed to a sponsorship deal, the manager had his own proposal for me as well. It was an international Airline and said he would also ensure the sponsorship of any future project I had and I had projects that required funding at the time. I called the organisers to make known my experience with the airline only to realize they were also aware. At the end of the day I had to let my contestant go alone, so she doesn't lose out because of my decision (she had no clue though). I kept remembering many offers that came on platters of gold I had turned down. I accused God of failing me!". And oh, the devil kept taunting me with words like "you thought you were special to God or he loved you", "what have you gained from serving God when you could have done it all and had it all"... He made me compare myself with people I knew really went the whole nine yards, now with their family and kids. I wanted him to restore me so I could feel like a mother again. Whenever it was that time of the month, I would cry and as the months continued to pass by, I became even more bitter. I was ready to risk it all and Las Vegas was a perfect place for that. I wanted to do everything I felt like I missed out on just to spite God. One night I was going to just sneak out of the house and was already at the door when my husband woke up, came to grab my hand and asked "when did you start this?" Those words just sank in and it felt like scales fell off my eyes. I realized I'd started losing my mind. I had given the devil a place in my heart, I had allowed bitterness to poison my soul. It took a while but God never gave up on me. With his help, I gave up on the anger I felt and His love sprouted in my spirit again and in December 2016, I missed my period and a test confirmed I was pregnant..without the surgery or IVF! God did it! But it didn't end there...

Early that year, just before my first ultrasound appointment, I had terrible cramps/bleeding and miscarried again. It was painful but we encouraged each other, that at least we now know I could still get pregnant. This time was different, our faith was stronger and our trust, more resilient. I conceived few months later and miscarried again. I got pregnant yet again(4th time), and everything felt okay. We went for the ultrasound and saw our baby, it looked perfect but had no heartbeat. Then we were told that getting pregnant wasn't the problem but the problem was my body's inability to support the fetus due to hormonal imbalance (from the whole trauma my body had gone through). They also said we both needed to undergo a series of tests to be sure if we had actually been producing viable fetuses all along. Doctor said I had actually miscarried 2 days earlier but my body had not yet received signals to start ejecting the fetus and advised evacuation or wait till my body passes it on its own which would be a more painful process. I refused to accept the miscarriage talkless of evacuation. I had seen my baby this time and couldn't let go. Besides, I was scared of going through the evacuation process again and didn't want to go through the kind of cramps that came with each miscarriage I'd had before. I told God I would leave it inside of me till he breathes life into it. We sent our pastor, pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo, who had been crazily busy that period an email and he called immediately and advised that my husband took me in for evacuation, prayed with us and said it won't happen again. It was already late at night and we had to wait till morning to go for the evacuation but was scared of the pain that might start that night So, my husband held my hands and asked God to please not allow me go through any pain that night so I could sleep till morning. Just before we went to bed that night, I went to the bathroom and clots of blood kept pouring out and continued halfway into the night, till I passed out every tissue.. with no cramps or pain. I slept peacefully till morning and the next morning, ultrasound confirmed that every tissue had passed. It was such a miracle that confirmed God's presence with us. Instead of being sad, we were filled with gratitude this time and somehow we knew everything would be alright. Then, I got pregnant the fifth time, and the devil kept reminding me of the previous experiences. I also started bleeding before the ultrasound but we kept speaking God's word and pastor Biodun advised that I should keep picturing myself giving birth and carrying our baby in my arms. Finally we didn't only see our baby but heard her heartbeat and she was very active... April 2018, The devil still tried on the day of delivery (another whole story), but I gave birth to our bundle of joy...she's perfect and growing stronger by the day. We saw God's hand even when we couldn't see any other thing, saw his light in the darkest of times, felt his love in times of great distress. What a loving father he is. This child is a living proof that God is faithful to his word. Just as her names say, "Jasmine" (gift from God) "OluwaTaramisore" (I am God's vessel of goodness)...She is a special gift from God to us and her life will definitely be used to declare God's goodness and glory. For anyone waiting or expecting, no matter what the doctors have seen/said..no matter what it is you're looking up to God for, He is more than able to do the impossible! I know how hard the waiting time can be, but GOD WILL DEFINITELY MAKE IT UP TO YOU! And at the end of the day it will just be part of the story. This is our story, this is our TESTIMONY!!!"